Our relations with others and the uncertainties

(If you think too much like me)

It's clearly not right/dysfunctional when you start to sense that the other party doesn't care much (and eventually or in the future, not at all). Or at least not as much as you do. There may be a thousand and one excuses from them to say they didn't mean it and they're sorry, but sometimes they're only saying it for the sake of being sorry or regretful (and many other reasons that might not be so negative).

They could be lying for the first and second time, and not the third. They could be telling the truth the first and second time, and not the third. You never know when they're lying about how they treasure the relationship, and when they're not. But you can tell if they show signs of not caring too many times.

Statistics don't tell you everything (and there may be anomalies), but it's difficult to use your feelings as a gage all the time. Not with all sorts of trust issues, superficialities and what not.

There's something about humans, we're too complicated. We hide the truth. It may not be for any ill-intention, but the uncertainty is just there. Only time can tell, and that comes with a price - hurt. We have different defence mechanisms (probably due to fear) because we have varying reactions and experiences, but defence mechanisms don't serve to solve problems - they only serve as barriers to prolong impending pain.

Pretty sad how we have to constantly observe our interaction with people to measure our relationship. We can choose not to do that, but always be prepared to be hurt. Nothing drastic might happen, it might just come in the form of drifting apart, and that's what we all do anyway - try to prolong things and not be the bad guy. I suppose it isn't nice to be lonely either, so most people just try to keep whatever friends they have, regardless of whether they'll actually keep in contact with the person or not. Also, it's not that nice a feeling to hurt someone, since we don't hate people most of the time.

Sometimes you can tell right from the start if something will work out or not, or at least after a certain period of time. (You just know how much you would want to put into that relationship). But we all say, "they don't have to know right? We're not actually doing something bad here.."

It's hard to tell. Just because we don't mean alot to the person doesn't mean we mean nothing to them. It wouldn't make sense to come to conclusions too quickly (eg. person doesn't reply you once and you take it that they don't care), and it'd be senseless to cut yourself off from someone too quickly, just because you "have a feeling it won't last". Because beautiful things can happen if we put in the effort too, I've experienced it.

Nothing on earth can be made certain - it depends on what you value. And there are so many levels to relationships, the kinds of relationships, etc. It's quite amazing to know that sometimes.

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I myself dare not say who I'm doing this to. I think I make things pretty obvious and I cut myself off too quickly at times so... I'm imperfect like that. Kind of explains why I'm never surrounded by friends anyway. I've learnt this because people have done this to me, leaving me uncertain at first but seeing how I can act this way too clears some doubts in my head.

It hurts but that's the truth. But people don't show it, we always have to find out ourselves. That's what I hate about this world - it's all superficial. Even things that don't seem superficial are. Even those that don't serve to harm you.

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Perhaps there isn't any point in me thinking about all these at all, "just go with the flow", as they all say. (Nevermind about how there are always rebuttals to every statement)

Just enjoy what you have at the moment if you can. After typing all these out, I think the best way is still to take things easy, if you don't want to get sick of life. It sucks to have conflicting ideas floating around your head, I know it too well.

It also helps to be honest with your feelings. Honestly, I think that's the most important thing. Makes the world a better place.

Feed me with your perspectives if you may, it isn't too good for a person to be so pessmistic or realistic all the time.